That was extremely confusing and heartbreaking. I wanted this baby so desperately, but I also needed to physically heal so that I could let myself emotionally start to grieve. About a week after we found out, I started to bleed heavily. So heavily that I literally had to sit in the bathroom for hours as blood poured out. It was so dangerous for me that when I saw my doctor the following morning, he said that I needed to have a D&C—a dilation and curettage—as soon as possible. He said I was losing too much blood, but that my body was still holding on to the embryo. I needed surgery to help my body miscarry.
Related: This is why I posted about my miscarriage on Instagram
This might sound strange to some people, but this is the reality for many others too. Even if someone experiences pregnancy loss, their body does not always do it on its own. Some need medications, but many times surgery is necessary. Ironically, it is the same surgery used for abortions. Yes, the reasons are different—but it is the same surgery. The same surgery that the Supreme Court is leaving up to the states. The same surgery that will be banned immediately in at least 13 states if Roe v. Wade is truly overturned (though some of these states do have exceptions for the procedure if the life or health of the woman is in danger).
People do not always realize that the surgery commonly used for abortions is also used for other reasons.
This is terrifying. This decision has serious implications that are very dangerous for many women. Banning this surgery, restricting access to the procedure and making it impossible for women to seek out medical care is unacceptable. If I had experienced that miscarriage in a state that banned these surgeries, I honestly do not know what I would have done. I was bleeding and hemorrhaging, and my life would have been in serious danger without the surgery. I needed it to survive.
If the surgery had been illegal when I had a miscarriage, my situation would have looked very different. I would have had to experience the physical torture of my miscarriage for an extended period of time. I would have had to make impossible choices. I would have had to try to seek out the surgery elsewhere, or illegally. I would risk jail time. If I could prove I needed the surgery, it would be mental and physical torture as I waited for the state to approve my case. I would continue to bleed, and risk losing my own life. I would not be able to grieve my loss. I would be tortured and stuck in an impossible cycle. I would be terrified. I am terrified for all of the women that will likely be in this position very soon.
Roe v. Wade is about more than just abortion. It is about reproductive rights. It is about health care for women.
People do not always realize that the surgery commonly used for abortions is also used for other reasons. I had to have one with one of my miscarriages, but I also had to have the same surgery this year after the birth of my son. I had retained tissue and had developed a fibroid. If I had not been able to get the surgery, my body would have been in a very dangerous state. Medications have not worked for me—I needed the surgery. I was seven weeks postpartum, and my body had not healed on its own. And I cannot imagine facing jail time or having to prove that I had a miscarriage or gave birth to a healthy child, just to have a surgery I needed.
Related: What happens if Roe v. Wade gets overturned?
Roe v. Wade is about more than just abortion. It is about reproductive rights. It is about health care for women. It is about women’s rights. It is about women’s choices. It is about women making decisions about their own bodies. It is about life-saving procedures. It is about options. The implications of taking it away are terrifying. Ignoring the life and health of mothers is unacceptable.
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