• Home
  • Fair Use Disclaimer
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Social Media Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • Medical Disclaimer
  • FTC Compliance
  • Earnings Disclaimer
  • DMCA Compliance
  • Copyright Notice
  • Anti-Spam Policy
ParentingHere.com
  • Home
  • Shop
    • Baby Bouncers
    • Baby Car Seats
    • Baby Clothes
    • Baby Jumpers
    • Baby Toys
    • Baby Walkers
    • Boys Clothing
    • Child Booster Car Seats
    • Child Carriers
    • Childrens Toys
    • Craft Supplies
    • Cribs
    • Funny Parenting T Shirts
    • Girls Clothing
    • Parenting Books
    • Strollers
  • PARENTING TIPS

    Best Foods and Snacks for Energy and Recovery When You’re Breastfeeding / Body Feeding

    Top Signs Of Pregnancy No One Should Ignore

    When Do Babies Start Smiling?

    Could this treatable infection be related to recurrent pregnancy loss?

    Witching Hour: When Will Your Baby Grow Out Of It?

    A Baby’s First Tooth: 5 Things Parents Should Know

    When do babies start seeing?

    Dealing With Ice, Snow, and the Cold During a Winter Pregnancy

    Sleep Training Your Toddler – Our Baby Friendly

  • PREGNANCY

    Cute First Day of School Picture Ideas to Take This Year

    Babylist Registry Review – Baby Chick

    Newly Updated Safe Sleep Guidelines from the AAP

    200 Baby Girl Names That Start With S

    How to Prepare Yourself When You Send Your Baby to Daycare

    20 Favorite Front Door Fall Wreaths

    Baby Fussiness: When It’s Normal and When It’s Not

    Amazon Baby Registry Review – Baby Chick

    10 Things You Didn’t Know Babies Learn in the Womb

  • BABY CARE

    What Your Child’s Teacher Wants You to Know — The Baby Cubby

    How To Find Your Stroller At Disney? – Baby Journey

    How To Prevent Stroller Theft At Disney – Baby Journey

    What Your Child’s Teachers Want You to Know — The Baby Cubby

    45 Best Disney Themed Baby Shower Ideas – Baby Journey

    The UPPAbaby VISTA V2 Versus the Veer Switch &Roll Double Modul — The Baby Cubby

    12 Tips and Tricks to STOP the Diaper Leaks and Blowouts! — The Baby Cubby

    Soothe Your Baby with the NEW 4moms mamaRoo 5 Swing — The Baby Cubby

    Diono Radian 3QXT Convertible Car Seat Forward Facing Lifestyle — The Baby Cubby

  • TODDLERS

    Is your kid a mouth breather? It might be time for an intervention

    Can a kid’s penis really get trapped in swimsuit mesh?

    This is actually how much sleep kindergarten kids need

    30 things your tween should know how to do

    24 teen movies on Netflix Canada to watch as a family

    How to deal when you hear “I’m telling” more than you’d like

    Why it used to take hours to get my kids to sleep

    18 of the best sandals for kids to rock all summer long

    I saved a drowning toddler—and here’s what I learned about pool safety

  • TEENS

    To Parents of High School Seniors: 9 Important Reminders

    Fun Family Teen Building Activities

    19 Dos and Don’ts of Visiting a Teen in College

    Cool Note-Taking Apps and Study Hacks for Your Teen’s School Year

    Why Young Adults Should Consider Getting Their First Credit Card in College

    A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way

    8 Things to Remember on the Drive Back Home After Drop-Off

    To My Teen Heading to College, Let These Lessons Sink In Before You Go

    College Care Packages From Home

  • HEALTH CARE

    How does birth weight affect long-term risk of mortality among men and women?

    Prenatal bisphenol A exposure may affect brain volume in children

    How ultraprocessed foods affect gut microbiome and health

    Experts aim to relieve children from the side-effects of cancer treatments

    New nurse-led techniques show promise in reducing children’s needle fear

    National follow-up study identifies risk factors for a prolonged COVID-19 recovery

    Doctors discover genetic and viral causes of adenoid hypertrophy in kids

    Vaccines and monoclonal antibodies being developed for respiratory syncytial virus

    Children hospitalized with COVID-19 commonly experience neurologic complications

  • ACTIVITIES & CRAFTS

    Bilingual & Language Immersion Preschools in South Florida, Where Tots Become Polyglots | MommyPoppins

    20 Fun-filled Birthday Party Activities For 5 Year Olds

    Pregnancy Classes and Parenting Classes in Houston | MommyPoppins

    Best Slime, Goop, Oobleck, Gak & Silly Putty Recipes You Can Make

    San Diego with Kids: 60 Family-Friendly Things To Do in San Diego, California | MommyPoppins

    16 Easy Ways to Make DIY Chalk

    Sanity-Saving Snacks for Back to School Wins | MommyPoppins

    45 Creative Straw Crafts | Kids Activities Blog

    Visiting Apex Entertainment Marlborough with Kids: What You Need To Know Before You Go | MommyPoppins

  • Contact
  • About
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Shop
    • Baby Bouncers
    • Baby Car Seats
    • Baby Clothes
    • Baby Jumpers
    • Baby Toys
    • Baby Walkers
    • Boys Clothing
    • Child Booster Car Seats
    • Child Carriers
    • Childrens Toys
    • Craft Supplies
    • Cribs
    • Funny Parenting T Shirts
    • Girls Clothing
    • Parenting Books
    • Strollers
  • PARENTING TIPS

    Best Foods and Snacks for Energy and Recovery When You’re Breastfeeding / Body Feeding

    Top Signs Of Pregnancy No One Should Ignore

    When Do Babies Start Smiling?

    Could this treatable infection be related to recurrent pregnancy loss?

    Witching Hour: When Will Your Baby Grow Out Of It?

    A Baby’s First Tooth: 5 Things Parents Should Know

    When do babies start seeing?

    Dealing With Ice, Snow, and the Cold During a Winter Pregnancy

    Sleep Training Your Toddler – Our Baby Friendly

  • PREGNANCY

    Cute First Day of School Picture Ideas to Take This Year

    Babylist Registry Review – Baby Chick

    Newly Updated Safe Sleep Guidelines from the AAP

    200 Baby Girl Names That Start With S

    How to Prepare Yourself When You Send Your Baby to Daycare

    20 Favorite Front Door Fall Wreaths

    Baby Fussiness: When It’s Normal and When It’s Not

    Amazon Baby Registry Review – Baby Chick

    10 Things You Didn’t Know Babies Learn in the Womb

  • BABY CARE

    What Your Child’s Teacher Wants You to Know — The Baby Cubby

    How To Find Your Stroller At Disney? – Baby Journey

    How To Prevent Stroller Theft At Disney – Baby Journey

    What Your Child’s Teachers Want You to Know — The Baby Cubby

    45 Best Disney Themed Baby Shower Ideas – Baby Journey

    The UPPAbaby VISTA V2 Versus the Veer Switch &Roll Double Modul — The Baby Cubby

    12 Tips and Tricks to STOP the Diaper Leaks and Blowouts! — The Baby Cubby

    Soothe Your Baby with the NEW 4moms mamaRoo 5 Swing — The Baby Cubby

    Diono Radian 3QXT Convertible Car Seat Forward Facing Lifestyle — The Baby Cubby

  • TODDLERS

    Is your kid a mouth breather? It might be time for an intervention

    Can a kid’s penis really get trapped in swimsuit mesh?

    This is actually how much sleep kindergarten kids need

    30 things your tween should know how to do

    24 teen movies on Netflix Canada to watch as a family

    How to deal when you hear “I’m telling” more than you’d like

    Why it used to take hours to get my kids to sleep

    18 of the best sandals for kids to rock all summer long

    I saved a drowning toddler—and here’s what I learned about pool safety

  • TEENS

    To Parents of High School Seniors: 9 Important Reminders

    Fun Family Teen Building Activities

    19 Dos and Don’ts of Visiting a Teen in College

    Cool Note-Taking Apps and Study Hacks for Your Teen’s School Year

    Why Young Adults Should Consider Getting Their First Credit Card in College

    A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way

    8 Things to Remember on the Drive Back Home After Drop-Off

    To My Teen Heading to College, Let These Lessons Sink In Before You Go

    College Care Packages From Home

  • HEALTH CARE

    How does birth weight affect long-term risk of mortality among men and women?

    Prenatal bisphenol A exposure may affect brain volume in children

    How ultraprocessed foods affect gut microbiome and health

    Experts aim to relieve children from the side-effects of cancer treatments

    New nurse-led techniques show promise in reducing children’s needle fear

    National follow-up study identifies risk factors for a prolonged COVID-19 recovery

    Doctors discover genetic and viral causes of adenoid hypertrophy in kids

    Vaccines and monoclonal antibodies being developed for respiratory syncytial virus

    Children hospitalized with COVID-19 commonly experience neurologic complications

  • ACTIVITIES & CRAFTS

    Bilingual & Language Immersion Preschools in South Florida, Where Tots Become Polyglots | MommyPoppins

    20 Fun-filled Birthday Party Activities For 5 Year Olds

    Pregnancy Classes and Parenting Classes in Houston | MommyPoppins

    Best Slime, Goop, Oobleck, Gak & Silly Putty Recipes You Can Make

    San Diego with Kids: 60 Family-Friendly Things To Do in San Diego, California | MommyPoppins

    16 Easy Ways to Make DIY Chalk

    Sanity-Saving Snacks for Back to School Wins | MommyPoppins

    45 Creative Straw Crafts | Kids Activities Blog

    Visiting Apex Entertainment Marlborough with Kids: What You Need To Know Before You Go | MommyPoppins

  • Contact
  • About
No Result
View All Result
ParentingHere.com
No Result
View All Result
Home TEENS

To Parents of High School Seniors: 9 Important Reminders

by admin
August 14, 2022
in TEENS


Over the years, I have been on the receiving end of panicked calls and inquiries from friends who are parents of high school seniors. They are preparing to send their child, often their first, off to college and maybe they call because I have been talking about the impending empty nest for a long time (my first child’s departure for college was over eight years ago).

Perhaps they know I will be sympathetic, happy to talk about thoughts and emotions that are incredibly personal and, without a doubt, complex and multi-layered.

mom and daughter
Author and daughter. (G McCree)

Run up to college begins senior year

Whether a parent is confused or distressed about the changes in their relationships with their teen, the convoluted college process or the idea of a child moving out, I have decided that “the run up” to college is a hard but crucial part of parenting. I define ‘the run up” as senior year (and some) of high school when your child’s moving away to college or some other pre-career track begins to loom on the horizon.

It is an emotional time for the parents of high school seniors – they are saying goodbye to their routine of the past decades, connections to others via that child, and a concrete/clear sense of purpose as a parent. At the same time, most parents come to understand that a shift in their relationship with their child is required and critical.

So it is ironic that in the midst of all this stress, emotion (happy and sad) and nostalgia, we are required to do some of our best and most important parenting.

Looking back at my three run-ups, much like my friends, I experienced a whole array of emotions. I was often highly distracted from my regular life and, at times weepy. At the same time, akin to to the hyper nesting you do before that baby arrives, I felt an uneasy sense of urgency and somehow this helped me focus on the actual responsibility of “emptying.”

This translated into a more proactive approach to providing my child, either with gentle support or a kick in the pants, the opportunity to actively take more control of their own lives.

No matter how much independence you have handed over or forced upon your child at varying stages, the run up year to high school graduation seems to be a turning point. It’s a time to shift from being the one in charge to deliberately pushing a child toward leading the way.

So here are nine themes from my three run-ups:

1. Pulling myself together

Yes, I did shed some tears on my own, with the constant parade of lasts but focused on the exciting new life my child would embark upon. I reminded myself that my children needed a role model while they were experiencing their own mixed emotions. I allowed them to talk about their concerns and wishes and I sometimes joked about how miserable I would be without them, to add some levity to the conversation. I kept it “future focused” so they viewed the next phase as exciting and fulfilling.

2. The responsibility dance

During senior year, there is a muddling of push and pull between child and parent over who will do what. When I announced that something was now their responsibility, I had to just shrug and hope for the best. In some cases I had to force feed the task and require that they complete it.

3. Social life – “Make good choices”

I repeated these words in a sing-song voice every time my teens and their friends headed out the door on weekends. I had a few other regular reminder phrases….”you’ve all worked so hard so don’t blow it,” “you are responsible for being a good friend” and, their all time favorite, “tonight is NOT the night to bust out…everyone is watching!”

Generally my husband and I stayed on top of knowing where, when and who my children were with and remained very strict about expectations, safety, curfew etc. And yet….that last year it’s a MUST to lighten up IF your child has earned your trust (no kid is perfect.) Of course, I said a lot of late night prayers while I reminded myself, how will they make good decisions in college if they never really had a chance to make ANY (good and bad) beforehand?

4. Managing stress and learning coping strategies

This is your big opportunity to help them learn about the way they react to stress and to help them learn techniques to keep things in check. I was fortunate that all three of my children wanted to do well but were motivated for different reasons. All high school seniors kid feels stress at some point, even the most low-key child.

Two of my children needed to hear the “there is no deal breaker in life, it’s the long haul that counts” speech often. One walked out midway in an SAT after a mix up. When she called in a crying jag I commanded on the phone “Pull over to the side or the road, it’s a stupid test but driving while hysterical crying is a DEAL breaker.”

On the other hand, my youngest reacted vehemently to the “keep it in perspective” strategy, telling me, “When you give me the ‘it’s only one test’ speech, I hear you saying that you don’t believe I can do better. I need you to say ‘go dig in and get back out there.’ Still, I did share with all my children my long view that the concept of getting into the perfect college is no secret formula for a happy and meaningful life.

5. Good and bad advice

My wisest friend used to jokingly say: “Everything will be fine if you don’t make eye contact with any other parents of high school seniors.”

You and your child need to find the approach to life after high school graduation that works for you. There is great advice out there and also well-meaning bad advice. I am eternally grateful for the professional advice from wonderful guidance counsellors, teachers and friends, BUT I learned that my values and my child’s make-up required a different approach to theirs.

6. Ask questions, use reflective listening and be cheerfully encouraging

I facilitated the research and exploration aimed at expanding my kids’ perspectives, helped with college visits and made cups of hot chocolate while they were writing college applications. However, I made sure my children were leading the conversation. I asked a lot of “what do you think?” questions, I suggested that they sleep on decisions overnight, and I urged them to be both realistic but also daring with their dreams.

They had the final say on most choices of what colleges to apply to and certainly what they ultimately chose. But I asked probing questions, reminded them of some of their parents’ basic expectations about character and finances, murmured encouragement, and tried, even when I disagreed, to just kept my mouth shut.

7. Handling mishaps, disappointments

There are a lifetime of lessons during senior year. How wonderful if your child is rewarded for some of their efforts but they are also likely to experience some heartache over a disappointing outcome.

I embarked with my last child thinking I had this college thing down. However, I knew that she was looking at a specialized professional track that I knew nothing about. Despite my experience of sending off two other very different students already, I am now considering selling this last story as a sitcom because of how many little things went wrong.

We wound up in the ER twice in different states, and for one scheduled interview, the University had the first shut down ever in its history. In a heightened way, this provided ample opportunity to model flexibility, maintain good humor, be resourceful and learn when to give up to regroup.

But I included her in the problem solving and decisions about what to do and we learned together. We have laughed so hard about this now (tears before) but I hope it will be a metaphoric reference point for her to forge ahead in other challenging times.

8. Teaching your child to applaud or accept success with grace

Most kids aren’t usually recognized for their very best selves in high school. I am grateful that we talked honestly at home about personal challenges and disappointments. As a family, we acknowledged their siblings’ and classmates’ talents, and celebrated the success of their peers. My kids learned to be good cheerleaders and, when they were fortunate enough to be acknowledged for an accomplishment, they were modest and grateful for the support they received along the way.

9. Unexpected understanding

You think you know your own child better than anyone, and you probably do, and you think that the adolescent child before you will evolve into a more grown up version. HOWEVER, with each of my children, I learned things about their character, their aspirations, their determination, their personal demons and a bit of their souls in that last year. This is by far and away the biggest gift you will be given during the run up.

More Great Reading:

Saying Goodby to the Sideline





Original Source Link

Previous Post

Pregnancy Classes and Parenting Classes in Houston | MommyPoppins

Next Post

Top Signs Of Pregnancy No One Should Ignore

Related Posts

TEENS

Fun Family Teen Building Activities

August 14, 2022
TEENS

19 Dos and Don’ts of Visiting a Teen in College

August 13, 2022
TEENS

Cool Note-Taking Apps and Study Hacks for Your Teen’s School Year

August 13, 2022
TEENS

Why Young Adults Should Consider Getting Their First Credit Card in College

August 12, 2022
TEENS

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way

August 12, 2022
TEENS

8 Things to Remember on the Drive Back Home After Drop-Off

August 12, 2022
Next Post

Top Signs Of Pregnancy No One Should Ignore

How does birth weight affect long-term risk of mortality among men and women?

20 Fun-filled Birthday Party Activities For 5 Year Olds

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recommended

How to Best Help My Troubled Teen

4 days ago

Study assesses the prevalence of gender-diverse youth in a rural region in Appalachia

6 days ago

Best Foods and Snacks for Energy and Recovery When You’re Breastfeeding / Body Feeding

5 hours ago

Could the $950 Cruiser possibly be worth it?

7 days ago

5 Important Life Skills to Teach Your Teen on School Vacation

5 days ago

200 Baby Girl Names That Start With S

4 days ago

Breastfeeding Diet: Check Out These 7 Foods For Breastfeeding Moms

4 days ago

Categories

  • ACTIVITIES & CRAFTS (408)
  • BABY CARE (167)
  • HEALTH CARE (324)
  • PARENTING TIPS (348)
  • PREGNANCY (181)
  • TEENS (298)
  • TODDLERS (36)

Popular Posts

New Research Discovers How to Spot Babies at Risk of SIDS

3 months ago

How to hold an infant

5 months ago

Postpartum recovery essentials – Newborn Baby

2 months ago

What Does an Amniocentesis Test For? Birth Terminology Explained

3 months ago

My Child Might Be Wild, But I’m Doing My Best

1 month ago

Free Letter O Worksheets For Preschool & Kindergarten

4 weeks ago

Pregnancy Calendar – Week 29

4 weeks ago

Archives

  • August 2022 (212)
  • July 2022 (488)
  • June 2022 (478)
  • May 2022 (415)
  • April 2022 (53)
  • March 2022 (92)
  • February 2022 (24)

Reader's Choices

16 Easy Ways to Make DIY Chalk

by admin
August 14, 2022

...

Children with type 1 diabetes and their family members are at increased risk of mental health problems

by admin
August 1, 2022

...

Magical & Easy Homemade Magnetic Slime Recipe

by admin
August 4, 2022

...

It’s Here: College Move-In Day

by admin
August 11, 2022

...

Editor's Picks

Free Letter H Practice Worksheet: Trace it, Write it, Find it & Draw

by admin
August 10, 2022

...

How To Find Your Stroller At Disney? – Baby Journey

by admin
August 12, 2022

...

Best Foods and Snacks for Energy and Recovery When You’re Breastfeeding / Body Feeding

by admin
August 15, 2022

...

Can adults identify pain in babies’ cries?

by admin
August 11, 2022

...

Popular Posts

Will the Teachers See and LOVE My Son During His Senior Year?

by admin
July 21, 2022

...

Children hospitalized with COVID-19 commonly experience neurologic complications

by admin
August 11, 2022

...

Lipids in breastmilk may protect against metabolic disease later in life

by admin
July 16, 2022

...

How to Fit In Your Workout as a Busy Parent — The Baby Cubby

by admin
August 5, 2022

...

Copyright © 2022 - ParentingHere - All rights reserved.

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Shop
    • Baby Bouncers
    • Baby Car Seats
    • Baby Clothes
    • Baby Jumpers
    • Baby Toys
    • Baby Walkers
    • Boys Clothing
    • Child Booster Car Seats
    • Child Carriers
    • Childrens Toys
    • Craft Supplies
    • Cribs
    • Funny Parenting T Shirts
    • Girls Clothing
    • Parenting Books
    • Strollers
  • PARENTING TIPS
  • PREGNANCY
  • BABY CARE
  • TODDLERS
  • TEENS
  • HEALTH CARE
  • ACTIVITIES & CRAFTS
  • Contact
  • About

Copyright © 2022 - ParentingHere - All rights reserved.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Cookie SettingsAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT